I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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