My room smells like vodka and shame
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
