In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
