Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize