I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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