Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
