chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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