Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
