today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize