And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize