He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
