I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
