If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
