I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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