Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
