You can't special order awesome
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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