we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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