I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
