We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize