Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
