She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
