If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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