There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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