I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
