What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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