how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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