Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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