I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Mom said you looked used
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
