maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
