Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
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When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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