also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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