I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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