i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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