So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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