Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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