So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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