This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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