TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
