I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
