chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize