i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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