i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
