apparently the secret to your success is patron
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
