The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I love you. Go after that dick
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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