Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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