he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
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Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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