How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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