I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
