i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
