I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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