I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
