i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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