honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
