Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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