He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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