I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
should my penis look like a turkey
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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