I can tuck mytits in my pants
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
smell my finger.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
