She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
