I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
