Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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