She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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