Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
