I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
