I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The uberlube is also flammable
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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