he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
did i just pee glitter
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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