You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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