I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
