im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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