i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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