my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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