I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This baby is an asshole
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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